Powered by Anxiety&Existential Dread

With more and more tech companies announcing personnel cuts, the idea that I needed an alternative source of income crept in my anxious brain. The thought of putting into use my somewhat creative skills has crossed my mind several times, but I never found the perfect product for me to peddle. As you know, I don’t specialise in one craft, and as such I don’t feel I’m enough of an expert in anything to sell.

But I’m good with tech in general -as long as it’s not a printer; and I’ve been drawing again regularly enough that I could see some improvement. Sprinkle on some floss and Aida fabric, and cross stitch pattern making seems to be the right product.

Thanks to some holidays, I was able to put into some work in making this happen: I have already 3 designs, 1 pattern almost ready, mock up pictures, and even a new Instagram profile.

I’ve been enjoying the process, learning new skills, but it’s been riddled with a sense of inadequateness and guilt.

I can understand the former: I’m not an artist by trade nor education, and imposter’s syndrome is just part of the process. But guilt? I couldn’t figure out why I’ve been feeling guilty to dedicate so much of my free time to this project. After all, if I weren’t working on this, I would have just been knitting or even cross stitching.

I concluded that it’s either because I’m afraid that I’ll just forget about this as usual after hours of frenzied work; or some good auld Catholic guilt*.

Anyhow, if you want to see how this is going to end, follow my new Instagram page. There’s a cat.

https://www.instagram.com/p/CoUPmfqIY5U/?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=

* I’m not Catholic nor religious of any kind, but I was accidentally raised as Catholic.